‘If the pain of where I am is not great enough – I will not change.’
The most important relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.
So take care of your feelings and needs and bring healthy balance into your life.
‘If you love yourself first – everything else will fall into place. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.’ - Lucille Ball
Relationships involve compromise, but if you’re denying yourself happiness, this will have a negative impact on the relationship and you. So be honest with yourself about your needs.
We sometimes stay in relationships out of fear of being alone. I’ve been there. But when we can walk away, know that you’ll be more than fine. It’s better than staying around, being miserable and feeling stuck.
Remember, if you don’t love yourself you’ll always be chasing after people who don’t love you either.
In the past you may have numbed your emotional awareness and now your feelings are awake.
Say yes to you. The drive to create a life we like is a very healthy drive. Find an inner happiness that doesn’t depend on anyone else.
Self-love is the most important force there is. If you don’t love yourself you can never love another anyway.
Here are some powerful methods to nurture self-love and healing.
1. Try loving and positive affirmations about yourself. Say to yourself daily, ‘I love myself enough to live a happy and prosperous and abundant life.’ Or try other positive affirmations that make you feel good, starting with ‘I am’ or ‘I have’ - as though you have already received it.
2. Take some quiet time for breathing. When we pay attention to our breathing, we reconnect to our emotional and physical sensations. Just be aware of your breath and how you can control it. Slow it down to create a more relaxed state. I combine this with a mini-meditation in my workshop. Take plenty of quiet time to get in touch with yourself. A walk in nature can have the same effect and releases stress beautifully and helps nurture your spirituality.
3. Visualisation. Use your imagination to visualise the outcome you would like to achieve. This is a very powerful tool to bring your dreams into reality. Adding positive affirmations as you visualise gives them an added charge. The key to effective visualisation is feeling with all your senses what it would be like if you have what you want now, because the Universe responds more quickly to the feelings you send out.
4. Self-compassion is really about extending the same kindness and care to ourselves that we extend to other people. What advice would you give to someone you love? Give it to yourself instead.
We have been conditioned to view unwanted experiences as personal failings. Instead of chastising yourself with blame, choose to relate to difficult experiences as opportunities to embrace yourself in compassion.
Challenging situations show you your inner strength. Challenges, sacrifices and pain can be the situations that create the most meaning in your life. They re-shape you into the best version of who you can be.
What no longer serves you is being removed from your life and a new life and a new power is coming to you.
But be at peace with whatever is happening right now because it is preparing you for this new chapter.
Remember, The Universe has your back and knows what’s best for you.
5. Gratitude is a wonderful way of engaging a positive outcome. When you are grateful it opens the abundance gates by elevating and aligning your vibrational feelings with what you want.
“The only person you can disappoint is yourself. It doesn't matter what you've been through, what disappointments you've faced, what mistakes you've made. Your value is still based on what you think of yourself.” - Lewis Howes
6. If you look good you’ll feel good and vice-versa. Pampering yourself and being kind to your body is a good way to remind yourself to be loving to that amazing body of yours! Prioritising fun, buying yourself flowers and doing whatever it takes to boost your creativity and joie de vivre.
7. Forgiving yourself is loving yourself and is often the first step towards a more loving and positive relationship with yourself and with others. Forgiveness truly is the key to freedom with any issue in your life.
Take responsibility for your own actions and joy and accept and enjoy your unique qualities.
Harmony is living in peace with yourself and when you are truly happy you automatically lift up those around you.
Just because it isn’t happening right now doesn’t mean it never will.
Remember, it’s never too late for a new beginning.
‘The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself.’ - Maya Angelou